BAM! You're Outta Here!

So here it is Wednesday. I know, I know, it's bad that I only know the days of the week by what televisions show is on that night, but it hasn't been so bad being only consciously aware of Wednesdays and Fridays these last few weeks. Wednesday is Top Chef night, as anyone who is ANYONE can tell you, and tonight kicks off the first half of a two week season finale.

The finale four (somehow I keep confusing them with the final four surviving cylons on Battlestar Galactica, and it's only the fact that it's Wednesday that keeps me straight...) are off to New Orleans, Louisiana, where they will face off against on another in Emeril Lagasse style challenge. Emeril (BAM!) will not only be acting as a guest judge, but will be responsible for helping the judges choose TWO of the final four to go on to next week's final round: the Top Chef FACEDOWN! That means two will be eliminated. (I can perform basic math skills! WOO!)

If you've been watching, and I KNOW you have, of the original seventeen contestants Hosea, Carla, Fabio and Stefan are all that's left. According to some of the discussion I've seen floating around on Eric Ripert's personal website, there's some kind of mistake that was made during Eric's spot as guest judge two episodes earlier... Apparently people believe that my hero, Stefan Richter, should have been sent home. Stefan, who WON the elimination challenge during that episode, who was said by Eric Ripert in his blog recap of the show, to have cooked the lobster dish to 99% accuracy in comparison to the dish he was presented with.... but Stefan should have gone home, not Jamie.

Jamie whined through every episode, either moping about how doomed she was and how she couldn't possible win, or moaning about how she thought she should have won that challenge over "insert contestant name here." On top of all that whining, there was also the whole blah of her general attitude when it came to preparing dishes that she just "wasn't in to cooking," or that "weren't her style." Apparently she didn't hear Fabio when he said, "This is Top Chef, not Top Pussy!" Oh, wait, she was eliminated before he said that, sorry.

So my prediction on who is going to win tonight and go on to the final round... I know you're dying to hear it, so after consulting with an oracle who sees all of her visions in the grease stain on a fish and chips bag the answer is: Stefan Richter. Not only is Stefan going to win the challenge, but he's going to blow everyone else out of the water (as long as he doesn't get TOO confident, as we've seen both times he's been on the bottom it's been the direct result of that adorable ego of his.) Second to Stefan is going to be close. Fabio has come a long way, and I think it's possible he's been underestimated, but hot on his heels is Carla with her chef knives high, crying "Hootie Who!" The oracle has said to put her money Carla, and I concur. SO it's Carla and Stefan on to the final elimination cook-off. Hootie Who!

Notice how I did not include Hosea in the debate above? That's because in my mind, I sent Hosea home three episodes ago. It's my defense mechanism. The more smack he talks about Stefan, the more invisible he becomes. Why? Because I don't doubt that Hosea can dance his way around a kitchen, but I do doubt that he can stand against Stefan's twenty-some years of experience and training as a Chef. Stefan said himself last week, "I don't think Hosea has the balls to be a Chef." And in the end, it really boils down to the fact that Stefan is just a way hotter bald guy. BAM!

So if you can't wait until tonight to see the first three minutes of Top Chef, follows this link: Top Chef in New Orleans

And meet me back here after the show tonight and we'll dish about what Stefan was wearing when he kicked everyone's chef pants.